David's Confusing Blog: Pursuing Childhood Via a Theme Park

Our Family Trip to Walt Disney World, Orlando FL, April 19-26, 2010

Jacobson Family,
Magic Kingdom 2010

We were buckling ourselves into what I would consider to be a typical modern amusement park ride accelerated by a linear induction motor, in this case Disney World Epcot Center's "Test Track" ride. I was concerned, as most parents would be, how my two 4.5 year old daughters would react; Lilian sitting next to me, Jennifer sitting next to my wife Susannah in the front row. The mundane section of the ride slowly completed, and then the passenger car rapidly increased its velocity into a circular banked turn, soon to reach 50 to 60 MPH on the subsequent straight-away. That familiar ticklish feeling in my stomach grew with the G forces, and I looked at Lilian. What I did not see was a look of horror, panic, sickness, dejection, or even uncontrolled excitement. Her eyes momentarily glanced to the side at me, a slight smirk curled her mouth upward, and she nervously chuckled the phrase "Woh," as someone might who temporarily lost their balance and regained it while walking along the top of a backyard fence. In that instant, it was as if I were looking into a mirror. After the ride, Susannah said Jennifer had a similar ear-to-ear grin on her face; no screaming.

Some people venture to theme parks like Disney World for a rare peek at life through their kid's eyes, while others seek to stimulate that inner child directly. Regardless of the reasons that propel us to open our wallets and pay hefty ticket prices, race hoards of fellow travelers for a spot in line, and generally exhaust ourselves trying to squeeze more activities in one day than a typical week; we are all still children at heart trying to realize that illusive dream.

The Planning Phase

Susannah and I had decided the previous year that we would take advantage of my sabbatical and "do the Disney thing." It made complete sense; 1) going at a theoretically less crowded time, April, while older kids' schools were still in session, 2) the girls still young enough where taking them out of school was not a big deal, and 3) the girls still young enough to be in that "window," to "believe." This "window" can be vaguely defined as an age from 4'ish to 6'ish where, although a child is perfectly aware that a human hides under that Mickey Mouse character costume, she freely allows reality and imagination to ebb and flow between it being a giant talking mouse, or not, depending on her mood. This is not to say that a teenager or adult is not capable of thoroughly enjoying the experience; just that the natural mental chasm separating and isolating the imagination has grown more pronounced by then.

How the future should look.

The extent of my contribution to the planning phase was to contact the travel agent and choose the resort hotel. I wanted to be in the park and have convenient access to the monorail; pricier but, we wanted to make the most of our rare visit. Also, monorails are an engineering marvel and, in my opinion, regardless of their expense, really should connect every single city in our nation; this was my small way of paying reverence to them. I chose the Grand Floridian, one monorail stop away from the Magic Kingdom. Being first timers, we decided we would be busy enough touring the theme parks during our seven days that we did not need to visit any water parks this trip, and the hotel had two enormous pools. Susannah, however, quickly discovered the remaining planning was as complex as preparing a college term paper. Several resources that she found useful included:

Using these guides, Susannah sorted out what attractions and restaurants were highly rated, what things appeal to what age groups, what rides to ride and when, etc. While at the park, each night before our fun filled day, Susannah would jot down the three or four rides / attractions that we absolutely had to see. This allowed us to perform an intricate timing maneuver where, once the park gates opened in the morning, 1) Dad would hurtle the girls in the stroller towards the first attraction and, concurrently, 1.1) Mom would sprint to get a Fast Pass for the second, and then 2) Mom would meet back up with us just in time to enter the first ride. Susannah and I would perform this maneuver two to three times per day flawlessly. But, in general, I was both confounded and in awe of Susannah's masterful planning skills. Below on the left is a map of Disney World but, to the right is roughly how I remember it.

Disney World

How I Remember It

Other Disney World "games" that Susannah mastered included the Disney Meal Plan maze, "counter service" vs. "table service," what counts as a "snack," and making reservations months in advance for three dinners and one breakfast with Disney princesses. We had one suitcase dedicated for carrying princess dresses.

Susannah tip: I bought Disney t-shirts for the family on sale at The Disney Store in Austin. For some odd reason, you can not buy the autograph books at The Disney Store - only at Disney World. Sun screen is 2X more expensive at Disney World.

Magical Arrival

Disney World has human logistics down like no other facility on planet earth. They are in control of you and your kids bodies and luggage from the airport until you return home. Their buses transport you from Orlando International, your luggage arrives in your room, and your vacation begins like clockwork.

Lady Tremaine,
Lilian, Jennifer

Monday evening the girls dressed up for a princess ball at our hotel, The Grand Floridian. Jennifer and Lilian were not shy about posing for their photo-ops, and never ceased to impress celebrities like Snow White, Aurora, Belle, and of course Cinderella. But, for some reason, Daddy has a thing for the evil ladies (i.e.: Lady Tremaine). And typically, it is the small things in life that parents get the most mileage from; the girls were fascinated with the glowing ice cube that came in Mommy's GlowTini cocktail... including Daddy; the water-tight, plastic cube has two exposed metallic leads of which submersion in a liquid completes the circuit. Absolutely ingenious design.

Highlights from The Magic Kingdom (Tuesday)

Adventure Land: Pirates, Jungle Cruise, Swiss Family Robinson Tree House
Fantasy Land: Winnie the Pooh, Cinderella's Carousel, Mickey's Philharmagic, Peter Pan's Flight, It's a Small World
Frontier Land: Big Thunder Mountain roller coaster
Tomorrow Land: Stitch's Great Escape, Buzz Lightyear, Monster's Inc.
Evening: When You Wish Upon a Star fireworks show
Wednesday Evening, 5:30PM Dinner with Cinderella at the Royal Palace, Cinderella's Castle!

We discovered the most efficient travel path to The Magic Kingdom from The Grand Floridian: take the monorail there, take the ferry boat when returning (due to the one-way circular route of the monorails). This avoids the massive crowds exiting the park in the evening as well. Susannah tip: It's also nice to carry different colored markers with you so that characters signing the kids signature books can switch colors.

It's a Small World

It was a given that Susannah and I would put the "It's a Small World" ride on the schedule for sentimentality reasons, both of us remembering it from our childhood. We were pleased to see that Disney had obviously rebuilt and refreshed all of the displays, dolls, lighting, etc. Jennifer, observing Mom's enthusiasm with the camera, began insisting "Mommy, did you get a picture of those dolls? How 'bout that? ...and that?!" The Magic Kingdom is the crown jewel of Disney Theme Parks, managed by a complex system of underground tunnels called Utilidors, which Disney even offers tours of.

That secret, black art of audio-animatronics is alive and well at Disney World, dexterously demonstrated by Sergeant C4703BK2704-90210 in the "Stitch's Great Escape" attraction. It's one of the few attractions that I can remember forbidding photography of any kind with no apparent "distraction" reason; I'm convinced for trade secret concerns. In fact, we heard that type of announcement enough at dimly lit plays and night rides that, while play acting in the bathtub back home, Susannah and I overheard the girls telling their imaginary audience "no flash photography please!"

Swiss Family Robinson Tree

The girls loved the shady maze of staircases winding around the giant Swiss Family Robinson Tree so much, I lost count of how many laps we walked.

Fireworks at Magic Kingdom

Of course we ended our day at The Magic Kingdom with the "When You Wish Upon a Star" fireworks show above Cinderella's Castle. Everyone was surprised when Tinker Bell "flew" off of the Castle roof and over the crowd, clearly on a zip line as pointed out by Jennifer and Lilian (Note: they're both zip line veterans), wearing a green Christmas-light Bustier and a too-too. The fireworks show was loud, beautiful, visible from all over Disney World, and Jennifer would repeatedly ask "Mama, are we going to see fireworks again tonight?"

Stealthy, techno-music
unmanned night dragon
barge thingy.

During our sleepy ferry boat ride back to the hotel, leaving the mass exiting crowds behind us, we enjoyed a laser light show barge flotilla on the lake. The disco music it auto-played sounded spastic but, at the same time, faint, distant, and oddly cozy; like a bizarre techno lullaby before bed.

Hollywood
Studios

Highlights from Hollywood Studios (Wednesday)

Muppet 3D, Playhouse Disney Live on Stage, Voyage of The Little Mermaid, Beauty and The Beast

After our previous late night, the early morning bus ride to Hollywood Studios caused Lilian to arrive just a tad fussy. A nice man Disney park employee noticed, and told Lilian that "Disney is the happiest place on earth; you can't be unhappy." Lilian smiled and he handed her a free Fast Pass to the Toy Story attraction. Which brings up a common lesson Susannah would repeatedly remind us all of; it pays to be nice, it pays to be a good Samaritan (and the not-as-often-mentioned clause, it pays to be cute). For example, Susannah picked up someone's obviously valuable convention pass off of the ground and turned it in. Impressed, the park staff gave her a free Royal Fast Pass (good for any one ride, any time).

Beauty and The Beast

Beauty and The Beast was like a mini Broadway show and had the girls transfixed.

Inside Cinderella's Castle

By Wednesday, we had hit our rhythm. We were so efficient with hitting the "can't miss" attractions in the first half of the day, Jennifer and Lilian were usually ready to return to the hotel and play in the one of the Grand Floridian's massive swimming pools after lunch. But, we had a dinner reservation back at the Magic Kingdom Wednesday evening, actually inside Cinderella's Castle. Jennifer and Lilian weren't going to be late for this one! The Royal Palace features just as beautiful architecture on the inside as is displayed by its famous exterior. Pictured is its ornate vaulted ceiling. And the meal, in Mom and Dad's opinion, is second in quality only to Germany at Epcot, in all of Disney World. (The one downer being that No Alcohol is served at Magic Kingdom, not even at the Castle to pair nicely with your prime rib dinner.)

Susannah tip: Stop by at The Princess Coutoure Shop just outside the Royal Palace reservations desk. One of the sales attendants hair-sprayed "Pixie Dust" onto the girls' hair. Unfortunately, it took almost a month to get all of that glitter out of their scalps!

Highlights from Epcot (Thursday)

The Seas: Nemo and Friends including Turtle Talk with Crush
Future World: Spaceship Earth
Land Pavilion: Soarin, Living with the Land, Test Track
Universe of Energy: Ellen's Energy Adventure
World Showcase: Germany, China, etc.
Evening: Illuminations fireworks show

Epcot

Unlike Magic Kingdom, Epcot allows the sale of adult beverages. Thank goodness, because, Daddy doesn't think his beer and strudel at Germany, in the Epcot World Showcase, would be the same without the beer. And the food is so good at Germany, we returned there for lunch and a show another day. Hands down, the best food in all of Disney World.

Germany, My Favorite

Impressive Bell
Dexterity

Mary Poppins after an
obviously successful day!

You know you've had a successful day at Disney World when the kids are this exhausted. Mary Poppins insisted on taking a photo anyways.

Susannah tip: A rare disappointment at Disney World (Epcot), avoid the character dinner at Akershus Castle. Oddly, the appetizer buffet was excellent, but the main course was horrible. Lilian took one look at her plate and said "I'm not eating that!," and Mom and Dad could not blame her. So, back for more appetizers! :-)

Another Epcot tip: If you do the Maelstrom ride (Epcot, Norway), avoid the movie at the end; walk right on through. It's a trap. The film has not been updated by Norway's Ministry of Tourism in 30 years, and it's painfully obvious.

Since we completed our tour of Epcot early, we decided to return to the Magic Kingdom that evening and see some sights we might have missed (it being so close to our hotel). And we stumbled upon a neat scenario. About an hour before the park closes, and right before the "When You Wish Upon a Star" fireworks show starts, most of the crowds rush to the middle of the park to grab viewing spots. So, what does this mean for those visitors who have already seen the fireworks show and don't mind skipping it? It means you can get on and off, and back on again all rides with practically no waiting during that last hour! Jennifer and Lilian were absolutely hooked on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad roller coaster and rode it three times in a row. Adding to the awesomeness, it turns out that many parts of the roller coaster track are excellent vantage points for the fireworks show, and watching a multi-color starburst in the night sky as you are hurdled over a steel track curve is unforgettable.

Highlights from Animal Kingdom (Friday)

Breakfast at Tusker House
Tree of Life: It's Tough to be a Bug
Camp Mickey: Festival of The Lion King
Theater in The Wild: Nemo, Dino Land
Kilimanjaro Safaris

We started the day at Animal Kingdom with a character breakfast at Tusker House.

Mickey Mouse,
Jennifer, Lilian

Donald Duck
and the Jacobsons

The Lion King

And then it was off to explore the Animal Kingdom. The Lion King show was fabulous.

...as was Nemo's Aquarium.

And the Kilimanjaro Safari truck ride was bumpy and fun.

Pound It!

In another example of Mom's "turn up the cuteness and manners and you score!" lesson, after purchasing stuffed "Minnie Mouses," the girls were given two free game coupons at Dino Land. Using those coupons to play the "pound the ground hog with the stuffed mallet" game, and barely able to lift the utensils much less bring them down with any significant force, the attendant decided that both of the girls should "win." Lilian and Jennifer walked away with two additional stuffed dinosaur toys.

Susannah and I had planned on getting at least one date night out during the week. The Grand Floridian offered a Mouseketeer Club for kids (babysitting). We dined at Narcoosee's, both walking distance from our room. Talk about convenient and relaxing! Excellent meal too.

Highlights from Fort Wilderness Resort and Campground (Saturday evening)

The Hoop-Dee-Doo Musical Revue and dinner is an example of a show that we probably would have missed if it weren't for Susannah's Disney guide research. It is rather out-of-the-way, unless you are staying at the Fort Wilderness Campground, requiring the two ferry boat rides across the lake, and a bus ride upon return. But the show was highly rated, and deservedly so. It was a blast! Everything was choreographed to an old-fashioned western stage show; from the plopping down of a metal bucket of delicious fried chicken on your family table, to the dance line presentation of dessert, the entertainers were extremely talented and kept kids and adults alike riveted. The Fort Wilderness Campground is a beautifully designed facility nestled in the trees along Bay Lake at Disney World, with a nice lakeside beach that the girls took advantage of before the dinner show. Definitely something to consider for a little different experience at Disney World.

Veg'ing at the Pool (Sunday)

By Sunday, Susannah and I knew we had achieved a successful trip when Jennifer and Lilian requested "Can we just swim at the pool and make new friends?" The girls exhausted, and happy. Daddy proceeded to play our contrived game of "bus" (basically, the girls jump on my back and I submerge) for hours. Mommy relaxed, reading a book poolside.

"For most of us, dreams come true only after they do not matter. Only in childhood do we ever have the chance of making dreams come true when they mean everything."

- Lois Wyse

Parade of Princesses and Friends